Pringles Halo Moa Burger chips is one of the most obscure products ever created. It has no business even being a thought in someone’s mind, let alone an actual product you can buy. Sold exclusively at Walmart for a limited time, I think these chips were originally supposed to be a marketing tie-in for Halo Infinite but this next edition of the fan favorite franchise received another delay, currently scheduled for later 2021. Pringles went ahead with their end of the bargain even though the Microsoft Halo teams are delayed.
Check out my other Gamer’s Gullet food reviews HERE.
What is a Moa? They are these space ostrich creatures running around in the first level of Halo Reach. Players can even earn an Achievement for killing several of them. Are they hostile? No. Do you need to kill them? Absolutely not. Will you feel guilty for headshotting these defense animals native to the planet Reach? You totally should, you murderer you.
These Pringles are supposed to taste like grilled Moa but in ridged chip format. Coming bundled in the standard Pringle tube, a picture of a Moa burger is on one side with Master Chief on the other. It is weird because Halo Reach didn’t even feature Master Chief (other than a secret one second cameo during the ending); it was all about Noble Team’s attempt in stopping the Covenant from invading the planet. In case you didn’t know, the Covenant won and planet Reach was destroyed. Which makes you think, how are you eating a now extinct animal from the future? The paradox is mind bending.
Anywho, so I guess these chips are supposed to taste like that burger in the picture. It is worth noting that there are four patties of Moa meat stacked high, wedged with some kind of white cheese in between, topped with what looks like some type of space slaw. The bun looks to be something similar to a McDonald’s Big Mac only not as tall. It is curious why four patties are involved in one sandwich. Sort of makes me wonder if Moa meat is light and airy, so four patties are needed in order to create one stomach satisfying burger..?
However, I think Moa meat would be on the tougher side. In the game, those creatures can run pretty fast when the sense danger. If they can run fast, you would assume their muscles will be heavy and dense – tough. Not sure what their natural predators might be, or what their diet consists of, but you can bet all these factors will determine the flavor and texture of this odd bird.
So what does it taste like? Well, I guess it tastes like Moa burger. What does Moa burger taste like? I wouldn’t call these spicy but they definitely have a zipping zing to them. If I had to compare it some standard Earth food, I think there is a similarity to microwaved beef teriyaki. The saltiness hits with something of a soy sauce but yet there are tones of a smokiness. Way more salty than savory, I was done after eating a handful of these. I bought two cans at $1.49 each and wish I only purchased one. The cost is justified for the obscure entertainment factor but I will be giving the rest of this tube away to whoever wants to sample space ostrich that was glassed on a faraway planet we eventually colonize.
One I thing I noticed is the printed alien language printed in tiny font on the side of the can. Anyone out there speak Halo alien language? If you can translate this, please share your knowledge with the world. In the meantime, I need to go brush my teeth.
Not As Good As: an Earth-based Angus burger
Better Than: Goomba jelly
Wait For It: Gears of War Sera tomato sauce