REVIEW – Smurfs 2 (Xbox 360)

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Go Smurf Yourself –

Like most movie-based tie-ins, Smurfs 2 is nothing more than a marketing tool that will earn blind sales from ignorant parents looking to purchase a new non-violent game for their youngster.

In short, this game is one heaping pile of Smurf.

Gameplay is like a watered down Donkey Kong Country Returns or New Super Mario Bros but with a Sonic the Hedgehog ring system.  From a 2D sidescrolling perspective, the player can select from a number of playable Smurfs each with their own special ability.  Papa Smurf, for example, can whip potions at enemies to freeze them or Grumpy Smurf can butt stomp to crash through certain bricks.  Gameplay couldn’t be simpler as there is no dash option, you cannot duck, there are only two buttons to press, each player can use their specific special ability infinitely, and there isn’t even analog control as Smurfs only move at one speed.  Yup, Wayforward succeeded in making a game for very young gamers, the target audience. The simple and straightforward gameplay is not frustrating, just very basic, bland, and unbalanced.

Each stage is absolutely littered with blueberries, the Smurfs’ Mario-like gold coins.  If you take damage from any one of the slow moving enemies then all your blueberries will fall out of your Smurf just like when Sonic loses his rings.  But since each stage is literally covered with hundreds of blueberries, it is actually more difficult to die than it is to stay alive.  Outside of a couple vertically scrolling stages, each level is pretty much the exact same thing and can be beaten in just a minute or two.  Like three month old unsalted stale crackers, the level design and gameplay are tasteless and unpalatable.

Most players will shut the game off before seeing this boss
Most players will shut the game off before seeing this boss

Defeated enemies will yield a vile filled with mystery blue Smurf juice.  Once enough juice is collected, the player is cursed to listen to the Smurf La-La-La-La-La-La song which doubles the amount of collected blueberries.  This song could quite possibly be the most annoying song in the history of video games. The novelty will wear off after the first time it is activated and parents will probably tell their kids to turn off the game simply for overhearing this tune from the next room over. The game also encourages players to keep this song going for as long as possible as it is tied to Achievement Points and even mission objects for most stages. It is torture. Forget waterboarding; putting this song on loop should be used to interrogate terrorists.  Turning down the sound effects option in the menu screen doesn’t stop this song either.

Cat versus Smurf
Cat versus Smurf

There is a multiplayer mode up to four players but most gamers will probably want to play this game solo as bumping into each other is so frequent and easy that accidental deaths are more common than the maddening Smurf song. The developers also stole the “death bubble” gameplay element from New Super Mario Bros too.

Instead of getting even more analytical on this budget movie game designed for children, here are some rapid fire facts:

 

–          Frequent long load times

–          You actually have to pick your character twice before you can actually play

–          The player also has to select the language twice every time the game is booted up

–          The still frame storyboards are cheaply made especially considering this game corresponds with an animated movie

–          Voice quips in-game are also as aggravating as that damn Smurf song

–          Controls are not accurate

–          Easy Gamerscore boost, most can be unlocked in just a couple hours

–          The floating Gargamel graphic is one of the worst images in modern day videogames

–          Each character has his or her own unique ability but the game never demands use of them

–          Boss battles are cheap, glitchy, and have clipping issues.

–          The storybook voice actor is the same guy who did the storybook narration in Kirby Epic Yarn

 

The Smurfs 2 is the Smurfiest piece of Smurf that ever Smurfed.  When Smurfs 2 starts, the welcoming “Let’s Smurf” message is a misleading Smurf that Smurfs a big wet Smurf.  This Smurf is one Smurf that you will want to Smurf until the Smurf Smurfs or until Smurf goes and Smurfs itself. Smurfs 2 is a giant bag of Smurf that deserves to be Smurfed, Smurfed, or super Smurfed until its Smurf bleeds or cries Smurf.  Instead of Smurfing, players should abso-Smurfing-lotuely Smurf this Smurf, play a Smurfy Smurf of hide-and-go-Smurf-yourself, or instead Smurf a Smurf that has Smurfed 100s of diseased Smurfs before it.  What the Smurf!? Smurf. Smurf.

 

1.5/5

 

Not As Good As: Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus (GBA)

Worse Than: Inserting a big blue Smurf into your Smurf

Play It Instead: Ducktales Remastered

 

By: Zachary Gasiorowski, Editor in Chief myGamer.com

 

Comments 1

  • well, Im one of those ignorant parents planning to buy this game for my son’s 10th BD. It is very well marketed, you are right, but maybe it is boring to you as an adult and it will be interesting for a 10yo? Im stumped.

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